Welcome to Planet Earth Avery Andersen!

My baby sister Megan went into labor at 1:15AM Monday October 1. Her and her husband Mike called my Mom and told her she should get ready to come over to watch my 3 year old niece Ella. About 5 minutes later Megan called her again and the tone was a bit different...."GET HERE NOW!!!" My Mom has been preparing for this call for the past 4 months. "The second one always comes quicker." She always says. She was right when Lea and I had Sophie and she was right this time too. So Mom speeds over to the house, Meg and Mike hop in the car and hit the Freeway for the 40 minute drive to the hospital. Mike looks down at the dashboard....Out of Gas! They didn't go into too much detail about how that conversation went, but if Mike took my advice on his wedding day he learned the following words and hopefully used them when Megan paused for a breath..."You're right, I'm wrong, I'm sorry." Sometimes that even works. I kind of doubt it would have in this situation but you never know. Megan has always been the sweetest of us 3 kids so it's possible. Anyway, it's about 2AM and they pull up to a gas station. This is in Oregon, so self serving is illegal. They're at the pump, the lights cast a green tint over everything and it feels like they are in a bad movie. All they can hear is very loud, very hard heavy metal music thumping out of the station and they can't see anyone. Mike honks on the horn, Megan shrieks about the music and rips a clump of leather out of the dashboard in the middle of a contraction and a Metallica drum solo.

Some dude named Ralph with long, greasy hair, an oil stained wife beater Tshirt and a pair of faux silk running shorts circa 1983 that are way too high up comes out with a cigarette in his mouth. Mike looks in the room Ralph just walked out of and sees a black and white television playing Porky's Revenge. "Yeah?" the ever articulate Ralph utters. "GIMMESOMEFRIGGINGASYOUREDNECKHILLBILLYFOULSMELLINGPOOREXCUSEFORAGASSTATIONATTENDANTRALP!!!"
is what Mike wanted to say but instead he said "Could I get $10 regular unleaded please?" He paused..."Oh, do you have any sunflower seeds in the shop?" Through the rolled up window over the sounds of James Hetfield screaming Kill em all he hears the muffled voice of Megan screaming "You can take your friggin sunflower seeds and cram em up your..." then the guitar solo begins and Mike is sure that someone took mercy on him and turned the volume up a few more notches. He could actually see the window to the station moving with the bass while the teenagers were doing something to destroy Porky's tavern on the television yet again.

So Ralph pumped the gas, Mike paid him. He jumped in the car and hit the Freeway. Earlier I mentioned this is a 40 minute drive to the hospital...normally. 20 minutes later they pull up to the hospital and Megan tells the woman that she meant to call in to them to get the epidural ready but that she forgot. The nurse smiled that patronizing smile some nurses get and said they would get to that in a bit. I kind of don't think that patients are allowed to call ahead for their epidurals as though they are ordering a Mozzarella Cheese Stick Appetizer and some Nachos from Applebees for curbside service but that's beside the point.

They get her checked in to the hospital and a new nurse arrives. "I'll go ahead and get that epidural now!" Said Megan. "Lets go ahead and check your progress before we get to that." I'll skip the details here and get to the punchline....

She was 10 centimeters dialated upon arrival! Those of you that have no idea what that means...the labor was essentially over and it was time to push.

I'm told that this part was a bit painful. I'm also told my baby sister Megan. The nice sibling even dropped an F-Bomb at the nurse. I would have dropped my camera had I been in the room. Sweet Meggie Poo doesn't even say the word crap very often.

Anyway, things progressed very quickly and just like that their beautiful little girl Avery popped out into the world.

We kept Savannah out of school today and made a round trip road trip out of it to go and see her. What a cutie pie. Sleeping, Pooping, Making odd noises...it brought me back to when my little girls were newborns. Makes me get all sentimental and mushy so I overcompensate with odd humor rather than show the true me...you know, the guy that cries during every episode of Grey's Anatomy. The guy that....wait a second, this is a public blog I keep forgetting. I'll have to write the rest in the diary I have kept since I was just 9 years old...no wait a second, diaries are for sissies. I'm going to crack a beer and watch UFC till 4AM. Ahh crap, my wife just came in and reminded me I can't drink beer for a while. I sure am lucky.

Well, I guess I'll go watch some Grey's Anatomy...where the heck are my hankies?